What Now?

As it's almost 5 years since Doomsday has occurred, I'm wondering what I do now?  My life has changed and I've grown, but it's a different direction than I had anticipated 4 and half years ago.  I have a boyfriend and we're moving in together in April.  I have a steady job, but am looking for a career that is higher pay and less stress. 

Moving on is effortless and difficult at the same time.  My bad days are still not normal person bad days.  I get depressed on a bad day and have dark thoughts.  The good thing is that now I can recognize them and get out of them pretty quickly.  Part of the process of moving forward is downsizing.  I don't have the sweater I wore that day because I had lost weight and it was too big.  I still have a box of his e-mails, which will probably go into the storage locker.  I'm not willing to let them go because they were so positive.  I miss that relationship.

I guess what I should be working on is figuring out what I want to do for a career.  I don't know honestly.  I want to help and empower people in some way.  I'm looking towards education, but what brings me joy is History.  I feel like I'm a little more lost than I was before the incident happened.

It's time to reflect, soul search and think.