Disappointed

I'm kind of disappointed in myself at the moment.  I do like my job at the pharmacy, but found out that it was part time.  It sounded to me like it would be full time, so it seems like a bait and switch was done.  It's my fault for not reading everything completely.  However, the good thing is that I have a job and am once again employable.  Now I just need something to make up the hours.

I don't want to leave the pharmacy because it seems like a good opportunity.  My store seems chill, but there are some kinks to work out.  I like working and I enjoy learning new things.  Unfortunately, my MA is not translating into any type of career that makes it so that I can pay off my loans much less have a social life.  The problem with both is that they can spike my depression and anxiety.


Of course I'm dealing with my disappointment by eating junk food and drinking beer.  I'm going to just gain 100 pounds just by doing that.  I am active at work because it's a lot of walking in.  I'm just always stuck in a bad place that I can't seem to escape from.  Right now I'm not as bad as I was at the bank, but I have not completely recovered.

I wish I could get better.  My life so far has not been what I envisioned it to be.  I don't know if anyone's life goes the way they expect to.    I just don't know what I'm supposed to do.  I got the MA because I wanted it.  I don't know what I want to do with it.  I know that I want to help people and I'm good with mental health and the law.  I just need to get out of the funk.

I do wish the world was less about making money and how to be better.  Looks like I won't be getting off the meds or therapy any time soon.