Being alone is fine, but feeling alone is definitely not. I'm not afraid of being alone, but I can't stand the feeling of loneliness and isolation. I'm not sure if it's the depression, the long hours or the fact that I don't see people as often as I used to.
The thing that is conflicting me at the moment is that I greatly enjoy my job even though it is stressful and causes my legs to ache badly. I have fun most of the time at my job. I'm not sure if it's because I get to help people in a way or that it's because I'm part of a team and people depend on me.
Physically, I'm not taking care of myself. Due to my hours, I eat at odd hours and eat a lot of crap. Hell, I barely have time to cook good things for myself. I would kill to be able to make a baked potato because it's healthier than the M&Ms that were my dinner.
I spend too much time alone and that is something that should never happen. I feel like I'm not worthy because everyone else has someone and that takes work. Any relationship needs to be cultivated. People seem to forget that. Being in a pharmacy, I think that is part of the reason why anti-depressants are so rampant. We all spend a lot of time isolated and alone. We need other people to laugh with, to hug, and to feel with. I don't think we do that enough.
We should never be alone.
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