New Chapter

Since I called out sick today, as I have a cold, I have had a lot of time to reflect on my life.  I figured out a few weeks ago that everything I had related to Doomsday is gone.  I have a new car as the car I drove at that time was auctioned off for parts.  The phone I had is now in a drawer with a shattered screen.  Even the sweater I wore on that day is gone.  It was a brown and gold sweater, which I loved, but it got too big for me, so I donated it.  I don't have a lot of the friends I had either.

This new chapter in my life has a new car, phone, wardrobe and companion.  It also has about $80k in debt.  A majority of that is student loans.  A bit of it is medical debt, car loan and then finally credit cards.  The medical debt stresses me out more than the credit cards because I shouldn't have that kind of debt.  I also have to add more money to my credit card debt to make it to my brother's wedding as a round trip flight will cost about $375, which is going to add to the debt.

I know that I will be able to pay all these things off eventually.  In the present, it's very overwhelming to know that all your pays goes to bills.  I've had to cut out movies, vacations, pedicures, eating lamb and fish, and alcohol all because of debt.  Not that being at the bank would solve this.  I switched careers and it will take me another 2 years to reach a living wage in my state.  

I have paid off 2 out of the 6 of my credit cards because last summer I had to live off them and pay for things on my old car.  I know that I'm never going to be rich.  While I have a graduate degree, it hasn't turned into a career because for history, you pretty much need a PhD and have to wait for someone to die.

While I am starting a new chapter of my life, it's starting with a heavy financial burden.  I can attack it slowly.  I know that this will effect my credit score, but I also don't intend to buy a house ever.  I just wish it was easier for me, so that I could enjoy my life more now that I'm better.