Three Years Later

My life changed three years ago today.  I refer to it as Doomsday.  I'm not going to talk about the event itself because part of it is still too painful to talk about.  I still haven't given the full details to my companion.  The consequences of the event were a loss of 2 years due to depression and several friends.  I do not want to dwell on the bad, I want to focus on what I've accomplished.  I am definitely a survivor and plan to make my story matter.

In the last year, I redid my wellness plan with a focus on being more social and physical health.  I succeeded on the former, not so much on the latter.  At the suggestion of my friend/cousin, Krystina, I joined Fetlife, which is social network for kinky people (sorry mom).  I met some interesting people and started to become more confident in myself.  I don't necessarily like the way I look all the time, but I met someone who thinks I'm beautiful and sexy.  His name is Brian and he's my companion.  He's a bit out of my type, but my type has not worked for me in the past.  Brian is smart, snarky and sexy.  The best part about him is that he brings out a part of the old me.  I'm playful with him.  He makes me kinder.

There are days that I still miss Rose and wish that I could talk to him about things.  We had a very open and honest relationship right up until Doomsday.  I guess that's part of his Bipolar Disorder.  I know that he's never coming back.  That's his loss because I am fantastic.  I am doing fairly well at my job.  I'm slowly getting myself out of debt, medical first, then credit cards.  I am a loyal friend, but sometimes I do not get the same loyalty in return.

As for my health, my APRN and I decided that since I've been on Pristiq for 2 years and am doing so well, I can try to go off the antidepressant.  I'm starting that today.  It will take me a 2 week process to go off the medication and then I will see what my mood is off the medication. I do have to exercise 4 days a week for a minimum of 30 minutes and have to keep taking my supplements, especially the methylfolate.  Next step is fix my hormones and weight.

Another interesting thing about this year has been that I have started to develop a better relationship with my brother.  I think part of that has to do with his fiance and that he is more grounded.  My brother is a good person and I wish that I could see him more.  I hope that one day he can teach me Krav Maga.

As of right now, aside from my debt worries, my life is pretty good.  I hope that it will stay this way for a while.