I've had this blog for 3 years and it doesn't seem to make a damn bit of difference. Mental illnesses are still stigmatized. Evil bank still exists and is making its employees miserable. I still have massive amounts of debt. I have improved a bit, but still have a long way to go.
My companion is graduating from college and he has a better sense of what to do for a job then I did when I completed either one of my degrees. I looked for jobs, but even before hourly rates were still low. I'm not looking to be rich, but just comfortable. A problem with that is debt. Brian did school part time and worked. His debt will be a fraction of what mine is.
I still don't feel really close to anyone. I want to, but no one seems to want to be close to me. Part of it is my job that takes up all of my time. I also don't really have money to have an active social life. Most of my friends have responsibilities that I will seemingly never have.
A lot of my friends are married or getting engaged, buying houses, or having kids. I have no interest in buying a house. Having kids I'm undecided because working at the pharmacy, I see what a crapshoot having a biological child can be. I think maybe I would like to be married. I like the idea of having a partnership and having someone to take care of. I don't know if I'll find that though.
There are days when I miss Rose. He liked the real me. I have kept part of myself hidden from co-workers and new friends that I made. I'm pretty open about my struggles, but I never show my soft side.
There have been improvements, but I don't think I'm successful. I don't feel very passionate about anything. It's still about surviving and I want something more.
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