Comfort

I think that the most comforting things are the things that made you happy when you were a child.  I'm not just talking about toys and running outside.  I'm talking about food, people and imagination.  The things that we forget about as adults because we're too busy or sophisticated or thinking too far ahead.

I wrote about how I envy my 5th graders sometimes because their lives are less complicated and can seem to make themselves happy.  My therapist said that the reason for that is that children live in the moment.  They don't plan that far ahead.  Yes, I still envy that, but have been trying to live in the  moment.

When I have a day where my symptoms spike (ie indecisiveness or feeling unreal), I try to do the things I loved to do as a kid.  My favorite thing to do is eat Chef Boyardee pasta dinosaurs and meatballs.  Is it healthy?  Not at all!  Is it tasty and comforting?  Hell yes.  What makes it even better?  Cheez-its.

The other thing I like to do, but haven't done in forever is swing on a swing set.  I used to spend hours outside on my swing just singing or making up stories.  I think my depression worsened when I was teen because my swing set got demolished.  I mean it lasted 15 years, but it was never the same.  It felt like flying in a safe kind of way.

The comfort of going back to doing what you love as a kid is indescribable and yet it makes me feel so good that my symptoms on a bad day abate.