It's not perfect, but I'm learning. Electricity and debt are my biggest worries because they have to be managed better. Electric heat is tricky to gauge. I think I have finally figured it out though. I get to start winterizing my apartment next month.
I think I enjoy what I do for my day job. It has given me the confidence to move forward. I don't second guess myself at work. Do I get cranky? Of course, especially after a 12 hour day or 6 days in a row. However, I think I'm starting to me more understanding and compassionate to the patients. Well, at least to a certain degree as some of them are spoiled crazy people. Also many of my coworkers are intelligent and sarcastic.
I've come to realize that the imbeciles at the bank didn't win. They didn't break me or destroy me. I am a million times better than any of them and I matter. I will make more of an impact on this world than that company ever could. This isn't arrogance; this is strength. This is confidence in myself, but I'm not confident in my body.
The battle with my weight is ongoing as it's difficult to eat healthy when your job stocks chips, soda and candy. The soda is the most difficult thing for me to stop. I don't keep it in the apartment, but when you're rarely there, it's difficult to resist the quick caffeine when it is needed. As for exercise, I still haven't found a routine that works. Again it's difficult when my average shift is 10 hours. I'll figure it out soon enough.
As for Fifty Shades. I'm on the third book and I'm tired of the characters. I know it's erotica, but their development is stagnant and sappy. I liked the first two. The books remind me of someone that I cared for very much. Reading the books made me think that while sex and relationships are interesting, I'm still finding myself, so I am not ready for someone else.
It's OK to be alone while you're healing. Besides, I always have the Doctor.
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