We Should Talk About It

Everyone knows that the Oscars always have a political element to them, which is why Selma won for best song.  The politics of the Oscars is not what I want to talk about.  I want to talk about the people who openly talked about suicide.  There was a short documentary winner who lost her son to suicide and said we need to talk about it.  Then there was Graham Moore who wrote an amazing screenplay about Alan Turing, who is a suspected victim of suicide because he was different.  Suicide needs to be addressed and talked about in more than just hushed tones.

I have been the weird kid.  I've always been different and felt like I haven't belonged anywhere.  I'm still trying to figure out where I belong.  I think I finally found a job that I really enjoy, but I still have dreams of a museum to be created, books to write and a nonprofit to run.  However, there are days when I don't think life is really worth living (sorry parents). 

I wanted to write about how you as a friend/family member/co worker can help someone that is possibly feeling so down or in so much pain that dying looks like a better option.  First let's starts with some statistics.  It's approximated that 1 in 4 adults has a mental illness of some kind (Loving Someone with a Mental Illness).  Also, Suicide claims the lives of over 39,000 people every year, which is higher than cancer and car accidents (USA Today), yet we don't talk about suicide because of the stigma.  We, as a society, don't do much to prevent this problem.

Since many people aren't engineers who can prevent exhaust on cars or people that create apps to crisis centers or are in the mental health profession, what can a regular person do for someone that is talking or thinking about suicide?  There is quite a lot you can do to help someone.

1) Listen to the person in a nonjudgmental way.  Do not tell the person that they are being selfish because the person honestly believes that everyone in the world, their family, their friends, their kids would be better off without them.

2) Get the person out of the house if possible.

3) If you can't listen refer them to a crisis chat like 1-800-273-TALK or if you are an employer your company's Employee Assistance Program.

4) If it's a crisis call 911 or get the local hospital's crisis team to the person.

5) Sit with them. 

6) Put on a funny movie

7) Bring over paints, paper or a sketch pad and let them draw or paint out their feelings.

8) Take them out for a meal.  They should eat something because odds are they don't want to.

9) Pick up the phone.  A text is not the same as a human voice.

10) Take them for a walk.  Exercise is a great way to relieve stress, anxiety and depression.

This is in no way a definitive list of ways to help, but I believe that we need to talk about suicide because it is preventable.  The worst things that you can do is judge and/or do nothing.   You can help someone.  Talk about suicide.  Don't stay silent!