I won't rehash all that the bank did. That's already been written about on this blog. See Doomsday for the events of the day that changed me life. So what has happened that makes me feel like I've changed my view on life? I got a decent job and got a roommate.
I went to therapy today as I usually do because I go on a regular basis. My depression is caused by a physical illness, which means it's always there. It was compounded by the situation caused by the bank. Now, I'm much better than I was 2 years ago. It takes 4-5 years to get over trauma. It will still hurt and I will always miss Rose, but it won't be as raw. Basically 2-3 years to go.
One thing that happened the other day was there was this "friend" who told me that I loved to talk about myself and only about myself. That was deeply hurtful because I have never thought of myself as self-absorbed. Everyone is selfish to a degree because that's human nature, however, I do a lot of things for other people. I am involved with more love letters. I teach Sunday School, which is essentially a volunteer position. I have a job where I help people who are sick. Though it might be a minor part, I still help people. I really want friends, but I need the supportive nonjudgmental ones. I don't believe that I will be talking to this person anymore because she was wrong. I'm not all about me, she was upset because when she wanted to hang out, I wasn't all about her and available.
So life goes on after a trauma. It isn't easy and I never thought I'd even make it this far. It's not a constant struggle anymore, but I still have dark days. There is so much to look forward to in the next few years. My life isn't a rose garden, but I'm in the process of getting to OK.
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