Every time I make a little progress there is a setback. My major issues for overcoming depression is finances and socialization. Finances stress everything and due to the fact that most social activities cost some money, I miss out on seeing people. Yes, I know that there are free things to do, but the truth is I feel like I have more debt than my friends.
I miss my friends and I miss Rose. Rose, not because we got to see each other, but because I had someone that I could talk to about anything and everything and he actually listened. I cared about him too and above all things I wanted to help him. It was mutual support. With a lot of my other friends it's either the distance or the schedules. I do have friends that live in other countries, which makes talking on a regular basis difficult. Having a retail schedule has some drawbacks. I've been trying to get together with Brianna for weeks, but I'm working when she's off or vice versa. I don't even have parties anymore because of the schedule and expense.
I am having a jewelry party later this month because I've always wanted a Swarovski piece since I was little. There was a pin of a little red dress that I bid on when I was probably in high school, but didn't win it obviously. It's also used a lot in films and we all know how much I love movies. I am not spending a lot on food or drink because I have things for it already. I am not aiming to spend anything on the jewelry either. I just want to expand my circle of friends and look at pretty things. I had to cancel once already, so hopefully, I can make this one successful. If you can't make it, you can still order...the holidays are not far away. I do hope to see people there even if you can't buy anything.
As for finances, it's still a struggle. I'm not working as many hours because it's summer and we slow down a bit because apparently everyone in Ridgefield is away for most of the summer....lucky them. This is why I work every holiday. My student loans will be paid off eventually. The bigger problem is my credit cards and now I got a ticket for speeding. I'm going to contest it because I can't afford to pay $190 to the state, who then spend it on stupid crap anyway. I pay my bills, but don't have money for much else.
I'm doing a fitness challenge through work so that I can get gift cards for things that I will need like make up and dress pants. I'm hoping that I get this new position just for the significant pay raise it brings. I don't think anyone knows how lonely it is to be poor. I mean I'm lucky that I can pay my bills and rent, but there is more that I need aside from a roof over my head and food. I need my friends.
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