Fear

The way my life is going, there are always so many questions  that just keep running through my mind.  What if this doesn't work?  What if no one believes me?  Why am I being treated differently?  Will I go back to being a functional person?  The basis for all these questions is fear of some sort.

Fear is the evil that makes us unable to move forward.  Though I am afraid of what the outcome of my meeting on Tuesday will be, I am going to do it anyway.  I'm going to fight for myself and say that what happened to me was wrong.  What the incident did to me was wrong.  It changed and adversely affected my personal and professional lives.  I chose to fight the bully and the fear.

Fear thinking is the main cause of anxiety.  Do I suffer from anxiety?  Yes, I do.  The thing I feared the most, losing him, has happened.  I hope that he will come back maybe that's a far flung hope, but it's what I hope will happen.  I thought losing him would kill me.  Some days I think it might, but I'm still here.  We can all survive what we fear the most.

Fear can be paralyzing, but it appears my inner strength helps conquer those fears.  I don't want to hide from the world because I am marvelous.  My fear is always being alone because loneliness is my main trigger.  I try to spend time with friends so that I am not alone...at least for a little while.