Giving Up

I am so done with today.  I can't even remember the good things that I've done for the last few days because I believe that I haven't done any.  I just keep failing at things.

I miss my old life where I had someone to talk to and a person to hang out with.  I miss having awesome game nights.  I never really got along with having a boyfriend.  I'm not girlfriend material and no one should be subjected to me like that.  I miss knowing that someone was thinking about me. 

Why do I always lose? I think I'm going to go for a walk to clear my head.  A lot of the time, I am not a person to sit at home.  I'm just done with my life right now.  Next person that says it will get better, I'm going to punch in the face.  With chronic depression, it doesn't get better.  It gets different.  The sadness doesn't go away, we just learn how to deal with it better.

I really don't want this life anymore.  I don't hate my job, I hate my HR department.  I don't really know where I want to live and I don't like the way I look.  Maybe I should be alone.