This is the 200th post on my blog. I'm not quite sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing. It's good to have an outlet like this because that way it's not constantly running around in my mind. I would like to say that I'm doing better, but it's still progressing in stages. I'm not back to who I was before the incident.
Work is still a bit stressful because of all the staff changes. I'm probably burning out. I miss him everyday. He's gone back to being quiet, well kind of. I think a lot of people misunderstand what I am. My gender is both and neither while my sexuality is omni and a at the same time. It gets a little confusing. I'm not sure if I've ever been in love with someone. I know that he calmed me and balanced me out so that for a moment, I could have been a functioning human being.
I think I've been a drain on all of my friends. It might not get any different in the future. I'm still looking for an apartment, but trying to pay off some debts. Therefore I do not have money for a deposit. I might have to get a roommate, but I kind of don't want one. I'm not an easy person to live with.
I enjoy writing in this blog because it helps me reflect and tell stories. We're all stories in the end. I will continue writing because it's the one thing that makes my life bearable. My life will never be easy. I know that with Hashimoto's, depression will always be lurking just out of view. I'm not fully alive. I live in some kind of twilight state where time is confusing. Maybe I am a Time Lord.
I have found out the not everything is black and white. You can still have feelings for people, but can't make them stay. I found the Doctor. I'm trying to get back on track and it may take a long time.
I'll post the end of the Good Things Campaign tomorrow.
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