Explanation

I always have this one friend who I can't explain my thinking to.  I believe that there is a connection between texting, IMs and social media and the rise in depression.  Having friends that you only speak to via text is not the same as spending time with them.  Texting may be more convenient, but it doesn't replace a human voice.

I have Hashimoto's Thryroiditis.  It's a condition where the immune system attacks the thyroid.  It can be managed, but it cannot be cured.  It can sometimes be unpredictable.  The worst part of it for me is that when I do well on exercising I have a thyroid episode that takes forever to get back to stable.  Last time this happened it took 6 months to get back to a stable place physically.  One of the worst parts about Hashimoto's is that depression is a symptom of it.  For me it's a major symptom that never really goes away.

One of the things that is recommended is spending time with people, meaning face to face time.  The point of that is to not be in your own head.  When on Facebook, Twitter or text you're still stuck in your own head.  It's difficult to be positive when another's facial expressions and voices are absent.  I used to have a lot of parties because I could see people and do something fun.  I had a party for New Year's and no one came.  I'm not even sure if I want to have anymore.  Maybe just something for my birthday.

I've never really been close to my family enough to discuss issues.  They know I have Hashimoto's and that depression is a symptom, but it's not as supportive as I would have liked.  I do go to lunch once a week with my dad, which is nice.  That can help a bit. 

I know that a positive outlook can help depression, but Hashimoto's can be a major complication.  Cancer most people can understand. People with cancer are determined to fight for their lives because there is a possibility that it can be beaten. Hashimoto's is not something that people have heard of let alone can understand.  While Hashimoto's won't kill me, it makes life miserable at times. Most people haven't heard of it and it's difficult to explain how detrimental it can be.  It's extremely frustrating to be doing great and then all of a sudden be zapped of all energy, joy and positivity because your body doesn't agree with your agenda. 

I know that it's difficult to be friends with me, but I need that face to face time.  I can't be with my therapist all the time and I've improved a lot since the incident.  Dealing with Hashimoto's isn't about having support because most of what I have to do has to be done alone. 

Sometimes all that needs to be said is that it's ok to be mad at your body.  Moods always change.  I have been so tired.  I just started new medication, but it takes a few weeks for it to work.  After a Hashimoto's episode everyday is a struggle till it evens out again. 

I have hope, but not necessarily positivity.  My life is going to change again this year.  My support system changed completely.  It will probably change again.  I don't want friends to help and give me advice because it frustrates them.  I just want someone to listen.  Most people think that therapists give advice, they don't, they challenge you to find your own answers.  I want my friends to be a distraction not advice givers.  I know myself enough and my conditions that I don't need help.  I need to have fun and feel normal.

I will miss him for a long time yet.  My conditions make it difficult to be positive.  I try everyday and I am not the same person I was.  I have a chronic unpredictable condition.  They don't have support groups for people with Hashimoto's.  The best medicine is to act as if everything is normal.  See a movie, talk on the phone or just go out to dinner.  That's how you support someone and possibly if that person has Hashimoto's maybe turn up the heat.