In September 2012, I had a panic attack at work because we were severely short staffed and the float decided to call out because he had a "stomach ache," but he was probably hung over and it was too far for him to drive. It was only me and my manager that day and for some reason every customer we ever had decided to show up in a 2 hour period. Eventually we got another float to cover, but I hadn't calmed down. That was awful.
This past Tuesday, my supervisor was sick and the float wasn't coming in until 9:30. While it was busy and I had a ton of extra work to do, but I remained calm and got through with very minimal effort. It was then that I realized I no longer had any anxiety issues. I can't describe how freeing that felt. Recovery is an excellent feeling.
I know the depression will take a lot longer to recover from. I am doing a lot better, but I am still plagued with weight issues and self-doubt. Those can be worked on and that's what I intend to do. I want to be healthy enough to get off the antidepressants, which my APRN said was a possibility if I had a consistent exercise plan. Since it is warming up, I will walk for at least 20 minutes. Walking is low impact and doesn't cause my thyroid to go crazy. One day, I hope to join the YMCA, so I can use a pool. I tend to like swimming because it works out the whole body.
It's taken a year, but I am improving. There is still so much that I need to learn and so much that I want. I want to start a non profit to help other people like me and to help make sure that the work place is a healthy environment for people with mental illness. Helping people understand that mental illness is not a character defect and that working can help us get better, is something that is needed.
I'm glad that the anxiety is in remission. Things are looking good.
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