I Was Better With You

There are people in the world that can bring out the best in you.  There are others that bring out the worst in you and then there are those that can heal you.  I think when you look back and it's what you remember that counts.  I had someone bring out the best in me.  He almost brought my back to life.

I had great conversations with him.  Not everyday was great, but overall, I wasn't lonely.  I had someone that understood what it was like to be this messy, but still be worthwhile.  I miss that.  I miss having someone that I could talk to everyday and be myself with.  It's still not easy to be friends with me, but at least he tried to be for as long as he could.  Maybe things will get better.

I have a new friend named Jill and I think she's bringing out the best in me too.  She's a great person who likes the same things that I do.  We talk everyday about annoying customers at work.  It's a great distraction.  We talk about the Doctor and she was the one that sent me the Dalek.  She makes my days bearable and I'm glad I met her.

I am struggling a lot still.  I was better when I had a friend there all the time.  Maybe I need a companion or an assistant.  I believe that friends are the family that you choose.  No relationship is perfect, but the point of them is enjoyment.  He started to make me alive.  When he disappeared I felt the chasm that is still engulfing me.  I am still trying hard to work on getting better.  I am better with people around me.  Maybe one day I will have a large group to depend on.  For those there thank you.  For those that left, I was better with you.