The Struggle Continues Daily

I haven't posted a medical update in a while because I was a bit forgetful.  I hadn't been doing my therapy homework assessments for a few weeks.  That's my forgetfulness because of vacation and getting back into the swing of things. The best part is that it is all good things.

I have suffered from asthma brought on by allergies for most of my life.  I take medication for it, which helps control it as I've been stuck with things that have no cure.  I went to my allergist and it was the first time in years that my lung capacity is in the normal range.  I believe it's from the exercise.

I never truly believed that exercise does so much for people aside from weight loss management.  It really does have some terrific benefits.  The first is definitely the increased energy.  I started only exercising for 5 minutes a day and increasing it one minute a week.  I'm not up to 36 minutes, which built my stamina and I'm not as exhausted.  It increased my lung capacity, which improved my health overall.  My stress is lower, my clothes are loser and my head is clearer.  Yay exercise!  As my APRN said, "If people with depression and anxiety can exercise, the rest of us have no excuse."

Just make exercising part of the routine.  It's difficult to start, but I promise you, it is so worth it.  If only to get your endorphins going to help combat your illness, it is worth it.  Come up with some type of exercise schedule.  After I hit 30 mins of aerobic exercise, I added in an ab work out.  Once I hit 50 reps on abs, I will add in a weight work out, which will hopefully equal an hour of exercise everyday.  How much time do we waste sitting in front of the TV?  Exercise AND watch TV!

As for my therapy homework.  I'm supposed to do weekly assessments on my anxiety and depression level.  The good news is that my anxiety depending on the weeks is down to minimal or borderline.  My depression is staying at a persistent mild.  I believe that this is due underlying pain and overthinking.  I have days where I am proud of myself, where I feel happy and then the sadness can come back.  It's always there. 

I have been feeling calmer lately because I had a conversation with him and he doesn't hate me.  He's been very supportive, so I guess some form of healing is possible. 

Work wasn't good today.  I was good because I have all these ideas on how to build a team, but I continually get undermined.  There is tension between me and this other girl.  We have nothing in common because all she talks about is her kids.  I have no children and I don't believe that I will have children because I cannot bring a child into this world with the risk of them suffering like I have.  I try to be courteous, but we all have a job to do.  Sales goals is part of that job.  We need to coach people up.  Everyone has different strengths and I think that training is one of mine.  I'll stop that part now because it's just filling me with the void.

Exercise is going well, therapy homework is helping.  The struggle continues daily.