27 club

This is going to be the hard one.  I think we all have that difficult reflection that we have to face and tonight is one of them.  This guy I knew from High School is dead.  We had the same group of friends, were friendly, but we weren't friend friends.  He always seemed kind and was a genuine human being.  The thing is that he had just turned 27.

I always feared turning 27 as that I was raised by rock stars and happened to be suffering from depression.  There is they myth called the 27 club where rock stars (mostly with addiction issues) all die at the age of 27.  Janis Joplin is in it as is Jimi Hendrix, Amy Winehouse and Brian Jones.  It's been theorized that the body changes in the late 20s, so tolerance flips and the addict can die.  I was always skeptical at this age and the guy I knew just turned 27 and it's rumored to be from an overdose.  I'm not sure if that's true and if it true, was it accidental or purposeful.?  It doesn't matter anyway.

27 is the age that I spiraled out of control.  I fight everyday to try to get better, but it is a struggle.  I don't know what the guy was struggling with, but there must have been more that could have been done.  If his death was intentional, I can't say that I don't understand.  I also know that people who are in so much pain that the only solution they can see is death is that their wish is to be saved up until the last second.  They wait for a phone call or a knock on the door or the gun to jam.  A sign that they were meant to stay.

I know that some people will be offended by my writing this, but I write for me and if people read it fine.  If not, then you are missing out on some deep thoughts.  There are two things that are extremely selfish: killing oneself and getting better.  Both are ego centric as they only focus on yourself.  I want to get better and unfortunately I can't be a good friend until I'm better.

Being part of the 27 club is tragic and I'm sorry that this guy is now part of that club.  I can be selfish and say that is should be me, but no one should be part of that club because then the what if game start to be played.  27 cuts the person's potential short.  It extinguishes their bright light and the sorrow will never abate.